Elder’s advice for young people

There are “life skills” not taught in school. Sometimes they are not taught at all. Experience is not the best teacher when considering major life decisions although it is a way to learn.

I list here what I consider the most important matters and will add to the list as I think of it. My presentation is “only my opinion” and cryptic because it is up to you to do the work.

Start here: Practice, to learn to respect others and yourself. Respect property. Respect everything that exists.

  1. Spending and saving  your money: Purchases of a purely personal nature deserve consideration. If I see something I want to buy I usually write a description down and look again in a day, a week, or a month. If I still want to make the purchase (and have not thought, “What was I thinking?”) and I can afford it I go ahead.

Generally it is not desirable to buy on time. This is most commonly done with homes and cars and may be necessary. Calculate the true cost based on the down payment and interest and check with several lenders. Only buy what you can afford: don’t risk losing your home, having your car repossessed, or living on Ramen for a year. Remember that the totally cool purchase loses it glimmer after a while.

Save some of your income and start doing so early. >>I am not an investment advisor<<  I invest in index funds and particularly like Vanguard.com. If you do not know what this means, start reading. Wise investment is part of taking care of yourself.

Always have a “significant amount” of money immediately available for emergencies. You be the judge how much.

2) Love, sex, marriage: I won’t philosophize on the meaning of love except to say nearly everyone want it and many don’t know what it is. It is not about YOU! Ignore the lyrics of (nearly) all popular songs. The way to find love is to first develop oneself into a mature man or woman. This may be expedited by individual therapy or group therapy or certain groups that seek to assist personal development for the purpose of discovering who you are and what you need to become (change). Check it out and avoid anything freaky.

Sex, i.e. copulation, is a biologic drive intended to urge and cause humans to reproduce. It can be a shared loving experience between lovers. Can it “cement” a loving relationship? I don’t know. It is not itself the basis of a long term relationship.

Stable marriage is a huge value to one’s quality of life. Each person can share a life intimately with another person, share decisions, raise their children: love and work together.

3) Appearance: Unless you are doing work or play that can damage your clothes, I recommend always dressing well. This need not be expensive. Clothes should be clean, unwrinkled, and fit. Avoid bizarre dressing especially at work

4) If you are not getting what you expect or want from a situation (relationship, work, friends, where you live…) then try, seriously and wisely, to repair the situation and if you cannot make it good, then get out. Do not hope for the best, expect a miracle, or grouse about it to yourself or others. (This is where experience was a HARD teacher for me).

5) Education is critical. Not necessarily college, but maybe college. In this culture you must know something and/or be able to do something to have a comfortable life.

6) Brief nuggets of advice:

When stressed and being pulled in all directions, BREATHE!

When you have a task to start or complete, DO IT NOW! (Zig Ziglar)

Read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz then post a copy of the agreements where you can see it everyday until it is yours.

When you feel lethargic, unmotivated –> “Get into action!” Choose something to do and get into it. this works.

7) The law of attraction and repulsion (by a famous author): If you present an open friendly persona people are attracted. If you present an angry negative appearance and behavior people are repulsed from you. Don’t FEEL happy? Well, fake it until you make it.

8) As you develop your work life and activities be sure to spend a lot of quality time with your immediate family and your family of origin unless the latter are a serious problem for your well being.

That is all for now. I will add what occurs to me and welcome comments.